Thursday, November 6, 2008

letting go...

My dads service was awesome. People showed up from the coast, from Medford Or. Sandy, Portland,all over! It blessed mom and us so much to see, and hear how many lives were touched by dad! I knew I was blessed to have him as MY dad, but listening last night to people share I realized there was a whole world of people who he made feel as if he were their dad, or grandpa or friend.
Im still trying to adjust to the"day"without dad in it, and I think I will be for a while. I miss him so much. But I had a very good day with mom today, and its time for her and I to find a new "day" and be able to move on and find joy in our lives remembering what an awesome man we had in our lives.
This has made me "wake up" and realize how important my family is, and the friends I have are so worth hanging onto, I am so thankful for them right now, I never knew what it was like to lose anyone. Now I know, its not something that can be explained, only experienced. Its exhausting, and lonely, and scary, and sad and without my friends and family I just cant imagine going thru this alone.
But looking beyond the pain of losing my dad, I am rejoicing because I know where he is, and he isnt sad, he isnt scared or lonely, he is no longer in pain, he is dancing and rejoicing with Jesus!